So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
