i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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