Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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