so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
