come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
