spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
