My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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