I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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