Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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