seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
