More tranny stories later!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We had sex on a dog bed..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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