My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
