Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
