I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
