I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
