Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize