Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
