like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
