Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i think my tv is drunk

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.

Fav 16 2273 872
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(850): View more from Florida

We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.

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(516): View more from New York

onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

(443): View more from Maryland

he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Ben's a prick.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

What Ben are you talking about?

(404): View more from Georgia

All the bens across all the lands

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(763): View more from Minnesota

there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it

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(716): View more from New York

I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

(941): View more from Florida

it was a krispy kreme

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(233): View more from

I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love

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