Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
