The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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