matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
