it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
