Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just had sex bonerless
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
