I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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