if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize