She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
