He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
