i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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