I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
