I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
