What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
