I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
