I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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