This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
