I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
jump out the window naked night went bad
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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