I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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