I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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