I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
