Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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