So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
