Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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