i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
