talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
