Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
