i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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