she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I did not marry a roomba.
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