and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
