There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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