this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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