Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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