yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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