After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
