The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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