Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
