this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
love makes seman taste better
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize